Into the Wild!

Leaving today!

"Adventure is an overused word. When everything goes wrong that can possibly go wrong, that's when the adventure begins." --Yvon Chouinard, founder Patagonia outdoor apparel.

Here's to not having an adventure!

Here's to losing myself!

Bye ya'll!

Go Chasing Waterfalls

Please! Don't stick to the rivers and lakes that you're used to.


It was a short trip, but it did wonders for me. Yesterday afternoon I was crashed out in the tent, filtered sunlight streaming through a pleasant haze, after a day of hiking through the lush canyons of the Ohio River valley. We would awake at sunset, and go seek the waterfalls under the influence of dusk.Three nights, I fell asleep under the sound of gentle rain and bull frogs, even before my head hit the pillow. Meals were simple and prepared over a fire or eaten cold or raw.

I haven't felt this refreshed or recharged since maybe that evening in Joshua Tree late last Spring at the Harmony Motel, watching the sun go down over a painted desert.

It's because of the green.

The green of the forest is the most refreshing color, and the sound of water falling the purest sound there ever was. The climbing was strenuous but not necessarily rugged. The temp was mild, a mixture of deep blue sky with white fluffy clouds and a deluge of straight-down rainfall. What they would call a "spring shower."

And yet, we hiked the forest at all times of day in all kinds of weather. The rain brings its own brand of misery, but without it, what would there be? The waterfalls, rivers, and creeks would trickle and dry up. The wildflowers would choke before they bloomed.

Who knew this deep forest opportunity existed just two hours from Indy? Who knew the plant life in Indiana could be so diverse and so fascinating? Who knew I could be so transformed to another dimension when home was so close.

Monday I was mowing my lawn, pulling weeds, admiring all the things my yard and garden would become by summer. But coming back from Nature's landscape, my yard looked depressing, monochromatic, repressed.

This is perhaps the best part of traveling. Coming back to a place you recognize yet can't really remember. Even after only two days have past. A lone cardinal sang this evening in my yard, and he made me long for the symphony  of cardinals that surrounded our tent every morning, awakening us to a chorus of perpetual happiness. 

And yet this cardinal still sings.

Oh, to sing like the birds, and to beckon the sun with such gratitude. Just a few short days ago, the sun awoke me, and I hid under the covers.

Once again, I am forced to ask myself why I live the way I do. 

Urban. 

More and more I am less and less urban, losing interest in being urbane. And these things were of the utmost importance to me at one time.

Social progress. Upward mobility.

These quench not my thirst.

And yet. What hardship did I really endure during this brief camping trip? Although the hikes were strenuous at times, we were never more than five miles from our tent, our comfort zone. And yet, we were out of our comfort zone. All the simple things become grand gestures. 

And that is how you lose yourself.

Survival is the best therapy of all.

All around me are beautiful trees, precious flowers, a chorus of sounds, a vast sky, and clean drops of falling rain.

All I need is the air that I breathe.

Here is my favorite piece of classical music.

Satie's "Gymnopedie."

To me, it always sounded like water.

Hamlet and The Clash Walk into a Bar

All I do is think, all I come up with is nothing. 

Uncertainty 1, me 0.

I woke up today realizing that it's the first day of the rest of my life,
and I was filled with dread. 

Yes, everyday is the first day of everybody's rest of their lives. 

But some days it seems more so. MORE firster than say last Monday, when you woke up and had still had your job.

But today was the first day without my job.

I could have gone one of two ways.

Option 1:  "Yow-ow, Funemployment!" 

Option 2: "Yow-Ow! Foreclosure!" 

Hamlet might have asked "To Be or not To Be?"

The Clash might have ventured Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

Me, I'm always asking both questions. I expanded my search and applied for a job in Madison, Wisconsin, of all places.  I have never in my life even thought about Madison. It's Wisconsin, for God's Sake. Yes, I'm from MI and live in IN.

Wait a minute. What the heck am I making fun of?!

It's just that when you think of relocating, you don't think of doing so to the Midwest, especially when you already live in the Midwest.

However, as it turns out Madison is kind of a cool small 250,000 population kind of town. Liberal. College town. On a huge lake. Surrounded by state parks and forests. There are worse places to live. Maybe it's like a mini Minneapolis.

Oh wait, don't tell me that you don't know know that Minneapolis is a really cool city!

Well, it is!


My whole life, or rather for the past few years, I have had to make a concerted effort "To Be, Just Be," which I think negates the purpose of "Just Being." If you have to work that hard at it, you're not being, you're trying. 

And as far as staying or going, well, I am reminded of this dream I had as a kid. My brother Chuck and I were on this epic foot journey in a strange landscape. We came across this platform that was electrically charged. If you walked across it, you would get electrocuted. If you ran too fast, you wouldn't feel anything. But if you dashed, sprightly and lightly, you would feel mini lightning bolts at your soles, and the charge would create a field so that your feet never quite touched the ground. We stayed here a long time, running back and forth, laughing.

In real life we never did that. Run or laugh.

Maybe sometime I'll get into that. Maybe not.

You gotta step just right, at just the right pace, and you have to be agile to feel the real charge.

Agile. I do Pilates and sometimes yoga, but how agile am I when it comes to uncertainty?

Not at all.

What has made me believe that I am entitled to certainty?


"You keep walking around like the world owes you something just because you're here. You're going out the way that you was when you first come here..."

Respect Yourself

And then there's the sweet, peaceful Rodriguez, who actually has a different response:

"Cause they told me everybody gotta pay their dues, and I explained that I had overpaid them."

                                                                                          

It's true. I got up. I put this record on. I made some coffee. I made a plan.

My plan went like this.

Treat this like a vacation. You would never waste a day of vacation. You would never be sad when on vacation.

So today was my first day of summer vacation. The first thing I did was say to Despair, "Not now, I'm busy."

I detailed my car.

I have never done that. I got out the Murphy's Oil Soap. I got the Windex. I got my Dyson. 

My ride is tight and clean. And that ain't half bad.

Then I mowed my lawn. My crabtree is in full bloom, and the winds were scattering the white petals, like giant snowflakes on green grass.

Then I took my dog on a really long walk and I listened to some Replacements 

...Look me in the eye and tell me that I'm satisfied...

                                                                                

And some Patty Griffin

                                                                             

...different colored doorways, you thought would let you in one day....

And then I started packing.

For the first leg of a journey.

A journey in another place.

I've got a big journey ahead of me later this month, but I decided to start early and add a new leg.

I'm going camping tomorrow. To the hills and valleys of the Ohio River to Clifty Falls.

I got my tent, my sleeping bag, my Coleman stove, some marshmallows, a book, my camera, a notebook, my hiking shoes. And I'm leaving tomorrow, and the next day, birds will be my alarm clock.

I know nothing about this place.

An unplanned journey. 

Socrates was wrong.

The planned journey is unworth taking.

It's not famous. 

It might not even be spectacular.

It doesn't have to be.

I have to be.

See you in a few days.

I hope I don't recognize me.