Thursday, January 11, 2018

2018: Bring What You Got, See What You Get

Here's a motto I made up when watching a cooking a show I like "Family Style" with Chef Jeff.

Just decided it would be motto for 2018.

What are my goals:
Be more superficial.
NOT kidding.
Pursue pleasure.
Read books for fun.
Don't think so hard that it hurts your heart.
Don't imagine bullshit. There is plenty of bullshit in real life.
Eat more better foods.
Write more sentences like "eat more better foods."
Learn to cook.
Create a signature meal. I think spaghetti and meatballs.
Do Pilates and stretching so you're not constantly pulling muscles and getting injured. Like you did on Monday.

Read fun books.
Eat more good food.
Learn to cook food good.
Stretch/Pilates.

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Zombie Dust

I hardly wrote last year. I decided it was dumb to write things that only I care about. I just now decided that was dumb to think it's dumb to write about things I care about.

Sometimes I felt like a zombie this year, not feeling, not getting excited, not remembering. Maybe it's because I wasn't taking the time to enjoy things a second time, here in journal form.

One of the goals of mindfulness to be aware of your surroundings and to accept what is happening. You don't always have to like what's happening, but learning to accept that it is happening can ward off anxiety and hopelessness. Writing down the little things that made you happy or made you think gives you a second and third time to either appreciate them or deal with them/understand them.

The truth is, I felt kind of rudderless in 2017, despite having many fantastic experiences and happy days. Lately I've wondered what it means. My friend who is about my age mentioned publicly that she wants to find her joy again in 2018, and it surprised me to learn that it had gone missing from her life. When I asked her about it, she said she had felt like a zombie the past few years. I have had similar feelings.

The strange thing about not feeling is that it actually feels pretty lousy.

Don't try to impress. Try to connect.
Go from shrinking violet to Fleur Sauvage.
Share to connect. Think why you don't want to share your story.

Monday, January 1, 2018

Top Three of '17

This is the Eighth year that I have been doing this tradition, which Larry brought to the relationship on our first New Year's Eve together, 2010. I had a fun party that night full of food, friends, wine, and sharing stories, poems, and "The Best Of" in a spare room that would later become The Beat Lounge.

Here are my Top 3 and some contenders

3. Christmas Eve Eve
2. Camping trip to Hocking Hills
1. Camping trip to America, the Beautiful/Weird!
     a. Driving into Two Medicine our first night in Montana, scoping out a campsite. That feeling that the area was magic.
     b. Night of the Indian Rodeo at the Blackfeet Indian Reservation--the breathtaking beautiful children collected on horses and ponies, riding bareback.
     c. Being shocked by the beauty of the Black Hills
     d. Yellowstone Lake
     e.  Our campsite on a cliff above Jackson Lake in Grand Tetons
     f.  Our stormy hike on Sand Cave trail at Teddy Roosevelt. The night of the rainbows and bison
     g.  Seeing a Grizzly bear in the Shoshone National Forest after not seeing any in three weeks
     h.  Staying at 70s lodge San-Suz-Ed outside of West Glacier


Contenders
--nature photography
--the owls at Eagle Creek-->intro to amateur birding
--Friday night sundowners at Eagle Creek with Larry
--Theater--saw many good shows this year, with Jersey Boys coming in at #1 favorite, followed by Motown and Kinky Boots. Locally, I liked Dance Kaleidoscope "Divas" and IRT "Boeing, Boeing" (a surprise as it really is a stupid play! ), Little Shop of Horrors starring our friend Tristan, and a local author show--
--Street Cat Named Bob and World According to Bob--two books on CD I had never heard of, just saw the first one sitting on a shelf in the library. I listened to each one twice, and they brought such joy to me that they stand out as positive things of the year
--Books--I stumbled upon great books this year. Round House, Broken (Wind River), You Don't Have to Say You Love Me, Kringle (! A book about Santa Claus!!!! ??? Yes, picked it up on a whim and loved it!)
--Women's March/Rally in January with Larry and Jodee!
--Started new career, permanent position with a company I've consulted for the previous 3.5 years. I was also offered a job with another firm at the same time and had to make my first "big girl" decision since graduation in 2000. It's not a dream job, but it's a good one. I enjoy going to the gym and to fitness classes on site. December, bad news, lay-offs. My boss and his boss both let go with 300 other people. More layoffs possible with another re-org.