Zombie Dust

I hardly wrote last year. I decided it was dumb to write things that only I care about. I just now decided that was dumb to think it's dumb to write about things I care about.

Sometimes I felt like a zombie this year, not feeling, not getting excited, not remembering. Maybe it's because I wasn't taking the time to enjoy things a second time, here in journal form.

One of the goals of mindfulness to be aware of your surroundings and to accept what is happening. You don't always have to like what's happening, but learning to accept that it is happening can ward off anxiety and hopelessness. Writing down the little things that made you happy or made you think gives you a second and third time to either appreciate them or deal with them/understand them.

The truth is, I felt kind of rudderless in 2017, despite having many fantastic experiences and happy days. Lately I've wondered what it means. My friend who is about my age mentioned publicly that she wants to find her joy again in 2018, and it surprised me to learn that it had gone missing from her life. When I asked her about it, she said she had felt like a zombie the past few years. I have had similar feelings.

The strange thing about not feeling is that it actually feels pretty lousy.

Don't try to impress. Try to connect.
Go from shrinking violet to Fleur Sauvage.
Share to connect. Think why you don't want to share your story.