My mom and dad always work together to get the meal ready, and I love to observe them and their silent language and their methods of working around each other to complete a task, even when they fuss at each other. My mom will get bossy, and my dad will tease her or imitate her, and she'll break out into a laugh. I always admire her for laughing at herself. Sometimes when he mocks her voice, she'll grab the carving knife and brandish it at him, and he'll tell her she couldn't stab the broad side of a barn.
One year it was just my mom and dad and me, and we had steak on the grill and red wine, and I always have fond memories of that year. I had been having a hard time with holidays for the previous few years that followed my divorce, and that year it seemed I had finally turned a corner and was able to enjoy the holiday again without it bringing up bad memories. It was also the first year that we didn't spend it with extended family, and also I was the only sibling who could make the trip that year.
Last year, I took my nieces and nephews out the day after Thanksgiving to see the latest Muppet Movie. I had seen the first Muppet Movie with my brother and cousins on Thanksgiving. It's fun taking them places without their parents, and it reminds of when my Aunt Jeanette (who had no children) would take us for a day and how exciting it was. As the movie started, I wondered how it would hold up after thirty years, and with a new generation. Turned out they loved it. After the movie, I couldn't bear to take them home yet, and we wound up going to visit my grandma, walking on the pier, playing on the beach, eating at our favorite pizza place, and playing on the bluff. It wound up being one of my favorite days of my life.
I had planned on making it a tradition, but this year I had to cut the trip short to return home. I came up with a great idea to make this year special. I asked my brother if I could spend the night at his house (as opposed to my parents' house) the night before and have a slumber party with the kids. When I pulled into the driveway, they came out running out the door to greet me, and it made me wonder if they were sitting in the window, watching cars go by in anticipation like I did when I was little.
We made pizzas, and then my brother wanted to make a "Thankful Chain." He cut out ten strips of paper for each of us, and we wrote on them the things we're most thankful for in life, then formed them into a chain. It was a great way to see into their minds and hearts. I mean to take a pic of the chain for my Photo 365 project but forgot.
Since I was the one who requested the sleep over, I had decided that I should at least provide the activity. I thought about bringing a movie but decided against it. Instead I stopped stopped by the library and picked out a stack of storybooks for bedtime and also some "Draw 50 -- " books.
Once I got there, things were a bit chaotic, and I wondered if my old fashioned quiet activities would fall flat with the Wii and DVD generation. They did not. Even the teenage boy joined in on the drawing part. I always loved drawing but was never good at it. I like the silence and concentration, and it seemed to have a calming effect on them too. They had so much fun, that they wouldn't go to bed when they were told, and kept saying, "One more picture!"
I foolishly started to doubt my storybook idea, but decided to ask anyway, and they were really excited. I picked out six books, and we took turns reading them in their respective bedrooms. I felt myself get self- conscious when I started doing voices and adding melodrama, but they laughed, so I made my telling bigger and bigger. The were great listeners, and liked all the stories. I was a little perplexed when the story that was written the most poorly was their favorite, so I asked them what they liked about it. It's an old book from the 70s about two English boys who are walking on the shore and find a girl floating in the sea. I was sure it must seem dated and silly to them, but they simply liked that premise better than of the others, despite its clunky writing and rudimentary artwork. This told me something a little bit about children's imaginations--they like timeless tales and simple stories of lost little girls and nice boys who help them, despite the melange of sophisticated and often sarcastic children's movies and books that are offered today.
It's easy to think that kids aren't really kids anymore, but after this slumber party, I had to reconsider this position. Maybe kids do yearn for a more simplistic lifestyle. Who knew that they would be delighted to draw, play checkers, and read stories all night?
I wonder if they'll remember this day when they grow up. It doesn't matter. It turns out that the time I spend with them benefits me far more than it does them. And, I got another day to add to my "favorite days" list.
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