Fleur Sauvage: All Christmassy and Stuff

Sunday, December 27, 2015

All Christmassy and Stuff

I've been feeling really happy and fulfilled and creative lately. I bought my first very own Christmas tree this year. I'd been thinking of getting one for a couple of years, but couldn't stomach the thought of shopping for Christmas stuff during Christmas time or after Christmas time. But then my brother wanted to bring the family down to Indy the weekend before Christmas, and I figured it was the perfect opportunity to make good on my promise.

I love my tree! It's perfect size for me, just about 5 and half feet tall, petite branches with mini pine cones, sparkly frost that glistens, and tiny white lights. I added a few simple silver balls and some Snoopy ornaments I've had since the 70s, and was delighted that I still had the Christmas tree skirt my Grandma Becker made for me years ago. I even got out my little family of moose and put them under the tree and then dug out a tasteful nativity scene that I managed to save over the years. When I get home from work, I love to plug in the tree and take a few moments to gaze at the pretty lights. Before I go to bed, I also take a few moments to take in some quiet magic.

I've been making gifts and wrapping them and putting them under the tree. I feel blessed and fortunate to have gifts for those I love. The other night I put on some Tchaikovsky and just sat in peace alone in my home, looking at the gifts under the tree and thinking about my family's upcoming visit. It hasn't happened in a long time, but I was emotional and moved to tears and not for sadness.

I had lost touch with my emotions quite some time ago and was taking steps to reel them back in, and sitting under the delicate lights next to my fire, I seemed to let go of some shackles that I thought were protecting me all these years. I started to feel real joy, the kind I remember feeling as a kid.

The weekend at Aunt Amy's house went pretty well. We went to the Children's Museum, where it quickly hit me that nearly 3/4 of my nieces and nephews are too old for the Children's Museum. Still they were good sports, taking in the sights and sounds, and seemingly enjoying themselves. Daniel loved it, and Lauren was still young enough to not completely enshroud her excitement.

Larry was a champ and offered to get the kids and two adults in on his grandparent's pass, which meant he also had to go to the Children's Museum. We had a good time riding the carousel and spending time at many of the excellent exhibits. The installation on Anne Frank, Ruby Bridges, and Ryan White were especially well done and harrowing. Larry and I both shed some tears. (I love it that Larry is able to be moved to tears.)

It was really nice checking out the various displays and "countries" with my mom. There is a really good exhibit on the different religions of the world, and looking at the relics and texts and photos, I was reminded how small I am in this giant world. Just a dot.

Once back at my house, I made dinner while the kids played Scrabble upstairs on my guest bed. They seemed to be enjoying just being somewhere new, and the guest room probably felt like a hotel to them. Afterwards, they went to see the Christmas lights, and Larry and I stayed at my place to get the chocolate fondue working. (It didn't work, btw, damn gadgets.)

The next day I figured I'd take them to an ice skating stadium, but they just wanted to hang out and play games and chill.

The next week I worked from home the week of Christmas, and in the evenings I completed a major project in my house that has been bugging me all year--staining my honey oak banister. It was a long tedious job, but I finished it, and my house again takes new life. One step at a time! By the time I am finished with all of my projects, my house will again be out of style!

I decided to bring Grandma Becker/Kovalska back to our Christmas by making some of the Christmas cookies she used to make for us.

She used to bring over half a dozen tins every year a couple of weeks before Christmas, all full of her Christmas cookie specialties. My favorite were the Hershey kiss cookies and of course church window cookies. It was a special time for my siblings and me--this was something we all loved, and then eventually fought over. :)

I also want to learn how to crochet the blankets she made for us and also make a patchwork quilt for my nieces with the fabric she left me.

It meant a lot to me to think of her as I followed recipes. I didn't know if anyone would actually appreciate the baked goods, but I was doing it for me.

On Christmas Eve, I had what felt like a million things to do before I left for Michigan--clean house for new guest arrival, finish wrapping presents, and finish the baking projects I started (which had now become a bigger job than I had anticipated.) But something made me pause that morning and slow down. We'd been having an unseasonably warm December--many days in the 60s! I decided to go for a mind-clearing, refreshing walk to take a moment and remember that the holiday should be appreciated in small quiet ways.

First I was chased down by a Pit Bull. The stupid pet owner had no collar or leash on it.

Then I saw a muskrat swimming in the pond.

Then I saw two swans swimming in another pond.

Then a silvery sun broke from behind the purple clouds.

Nice little moments, that's all.

I packed up and headed north! When I arrived, I unloaded all my goodies, and my mom was delighted to see Grandma's cookies!

We got dressed and I took her to church to meet Earl and family.

I don't go to church anymore for a reason.

It has to do with the majority of church goers.

I go to see my family, but I really don't get anything out of these modern, cool, hip churches where anything goes, including bringing starbucks, food, and selfie sticks into the sanctuary and eating all through the service, not to mention just showing up any old time.

Later we had Christmas Eve dinner and my cousin Johnny and his wife Cindy came over. It was pretty nice!

The next morning dad made French toast and venison sausage for my mom and me. Very nice and peaceful.

Earl's family came over that afternoon for dinner and unwrapping presents. Later we played poker.

My mom and I stayed up past 2 a.m. talking. We walked outside to the full of moon of Christmas, and it truly was a blue moon. The whole night sky was shining blue, the ground and trees beneath glowing blue. I always want to remember it.

I went home the next day.

I was so sick of Christmas music I thought I'd puke!

I put in some Lord Huron and Lucinda Williams for my drive home and looked forward to spending time with Larry!

Merry Christmas!